How to spot a narcissist on a dating site
Of course when they disappear or they replace ‘the model’ you got with a pared down version, you will wonder what was wrong with you to cause the loss of adoration.While it is very flattering when someone says they love you immediately or makes you the centre of their universe immediately, the fact of the matter is that they don’t know you enough to be sincere about it. I’m not saying that you’re not a wonderful person, but aren’t we giving ourselves and them too much credit by believing that our libido, powers of judgement and observation and awareness of our own values are so powerful that we can tell immediately based on looks, sexual chemistry, penis size, words etc that we (or they) love someone? Well, we don’t like to appear to be spoil sports, many of us are not aware of the perils of red flags, and we second guess ourselves.They also make the mistake of being so OTT that they create expectations that they cannot deliver on.These people overestimate their level of interest because often the uncertainty of not knowing how you feel and needing to ‘win you over’ and ‘suck you in’, is what triggers their desire for you. Originally scheduled as a lunchtime meet, it lasted all day and into the night.
In fact, I’d ask yourself how serious you are about finding a relationship because exerting this type of pressure so early on in the relationship not only tests the people out to see if they can meet your emotional demands, but a lot of the behaviour in Fast-Forwarded Relationships is quite unhealthy.They either disappear when they start to feel panicky about the fact that you will want, need, and expect in line with the great show they have been putting on.Or…they just revert to the ‘real them’, ripping the rug from under your feet and replacing hot with cold and someone who you barely recognise. People who engage in Fast-Forwarding are Future Fakers, whether they directly do it by talking up a storm about plans or do it indirectly by behaving so intensely and putting so many demands on you (emotional, sexual, wanting to be with you all the time), that they let you believe that the level of intensity you are experiencing is what is on offer.Also don’t you remove the mystery and stuff to look forward to when you try to do it all very quickly? If you are being fast-forwarded you will miss crucial red flags that indicate that the relationship is unhealthy.Even without red flags, by Fast-Forwarding the relationship, you will both create great expectations that may stifle the relationship before it has a chance to prosper.